I sent out the application concurrently with my other job applications three months ago, not sure which to expect myself to go for. And after 3 months of waiting, it is irony and with much regret that I have to leave such a good place in NIE, but for an even bigger dream. JTherefore, really be careful what you ask for, I ask for a programme officer job, and of the entire programme officer job market I could request from the private institute to the more famous SIM, he gave me THE programme officer job in NIE, the best among all I have seen. With such a comfortable environment, big table space (you don’t know how important it is.), good colleagues that works like a family and a pay that I could easily settled for as it increases with my age. Yes, everything is too good to be true and it can only be God’s doing and what God has given no one can take away. I really thought if the chances are slim, I would just stay faithful in this job and save my assets here. How I was wrong when conflict came with the letter of acceptance from Lasalle on May the eleventh. I screamed with joy, delighted to see something impossible became true before my eyes! Deep down I know I need a chance to step into my dream life and career doing what I should be doing passionately. And God gave it with generosity when nobody else really believed, as I know this course will be almost fully sponsored my MOE if not for the previous Specialist Dip that was already funded for one year. So I still got 2 years out of 3 years FULLY funded! No Debts for those 2 years! And I actually got “funded” from my er hem “extended family” for the rest of the loan needed to pay for the first year interest free! Praise the Lord! That’s a lot of burden lifted up.
So as I go through the process of the interview, head back down to my requesting of the transcripts (both NYP and TP which are worlds apart), then submission of the documents, then, searching for the loan, and finally submit the fees and admission contract. God opened many doors as I did it all with just one day of leave! Out of the perhaps 3 -4 days that I need to excuse myself, I am blessed with good Friday, Labour Day, Vesak Day and a totally unexpected half day time off from events that ended early TWICE, all in the perfect timing just so that I can get everything submitted in time. It really is amazing how everything fall into the exact place and timing, and it felt like a pair of hands are planning it out meticulously, daintily aiding you to fulfil every step successfully at the perfect timing. This really showed me how excellent and explicit God is when it comes to His will and how He wants it done, and done for you. I thank God for putting Ms Eileen Ong as the programme leader. I am sure she is the reason why I got a place in Lasalle. Something tells me she too believe in never giving up when she encouraged me and told me she was a late bloomer too (Given the fact that I am 27 and the rest look 19 duh).
It is a dream come true, to be able to have this God-given opportunity to educate and qualify myself to realize the desired vocation of my heart. It is beyond words, the joy of receiving this gift and the miraculous assurance and peace from my only Father in the plans He has for me, all so that I can make Him proud in all that I can be. It is His Fatherly love that graced me through. The process of being unsure, but doing it anyway when the opportunity is presented to you, the attitude of the being is what He is more aware of than the plan itself, to test to train and to help you embrace and accept what you can do and what you should not. He trains your attitude towards your own life before he can equip you with the plans He has for you with the gifts endowed upn you. It is like a magical adventure that has many trials and challenges for you to overcome in order to qualify you for the job and finally accomplishing His will and crowning your diligence with His glory as you give your best perfecting your given gifts every day till they are perfected in His image. It is an experiential journey that no mere words can explain, of the things I have been taught and wisdom that has been imparted and blessed with.
It was not all clear and certain in the beginning, nothing are certain until you put it to test. I did lost a fair amount of confidence, with just barely a thread of hope left hanging to keep the meaning of life afloat. In all the despair impossibilities, I reasoned and I ask “Surely this is not my end?” I began to repent of my disobedience and align myself to God’s will in HIS way not mine.
So things started changing when I tried picking back the pieces, starting from believing that dreams will come true and nothing is too late. That dreams can be re-gathered, then re-generate and re-live. The invisible connection between the dead dreams and the new visions is a mystery until you are bold enough to carry your steps forward to realise your heartfelt dreams. I understood that nothing is wasted in the process of your journey. Though I do not fully understand why everything happened the way it did, like how did I end up with a Tourism Specialist Dip and now pursuing an Arts degree. Life is always a mystery for you to uncover, so I give up wondering why and just be faithful in obeying my calling and in my best hope of becoming who I am supposed to be, doing all that I know I can do now leaving no fate to chance…and time.
It paid off. All I can say now is that I am filled with gratification and joy for the God I have that listens your cries and honours you when you choose to be faithful in what He has given you and when you actually WAIT.
It is not easy, when you have changed your mind like the hundredth time and nobody seems to understand the kind of process you are going through and worse still, nobody can help you. You have to find out for yourself. I STILLam not a hundred percent sure of the complete calling, but I am sure it will be wonderfully completed by His hands in my lifetime.
So here is to the continuity of this dream. And to those who still have a dream in your heart, let it breathe today.
